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How to be the total psycho in your flatshare  ARE you a complete nutcase living in shared accommodation who likes to save the surprise of your mental state until new tenants have moved in? Here’s how.
Are you looking at your phone enough first thing in the morning?  YOU wake up, you turn your alarm off and you spend a solid 10 minutes staring at your phone screen, just like you did before you went to sleep. But are you doing ...
Five great reasons to hate the Lib Dems all over again  THE Liberal Democrats are making a comeback by once again sounding reasonable and sane compared to everyone else. Here’s how to justify your instinctive loathing.
Woman opts for celibacy rather than tidying her room  A WOMAN has decided never to have sex again rather than endure the horror of tidying her bedroom.
Are you tediously wholesome enough to be a Bake Off contestant?  THE new Bake Off contestants look so pleasant and well-adjusted you're probably feeling a bit nauseous already. But are you annoyingly nice enough to get on...
Boyfriend thinking of doing stand-up comedy instantly 85% less attractive  THE girlfriend of a man who believes he is funny enough to be a stand-up comedian is considering terminating the relationship immediately.
Johnson opens Merkel talks with five minutes of Nazi jokes  BORIS Johnson is to put Angela Merkel at her ease with a solid five minutes of Nazi jokes at today’s meeting, he has confirmed. 
Child who calls parents by their first names freaking everyone out  A CHILD with trendy parents who uses their first names instead of 'mum' and 'dad' is having a chilling effect on people.
How to blame other people for your Brexit bullsh*t  WHETHER you’re the prime minister or an ordinary Leaver, it’s time to start blaming other people for Brexit. Here’s how to try and shift the blame.
Late night trip to Tesco still oddly thrilling  GOING to a supermarket at 4am is strangely exciting and edgy even though it is just full of knackered people stacking shelves, it has been confirmed. 
Bake Off unveils sacrificial hipster  THE BBC has unveiled this year’s Bake Off hipster, who will meet with a terrible fate.
Woman who watched Mindhunter believes boyfriend is a serial killer  A WOMAN who binge-watched all the episodes of Mindhunter is convinced she has developed an instinct for sniffing out sadistic murderers.
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