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Latest news and headlines from : The Daily Mash - URL : www.newsoneplace.com/?source=76
Mourinho put in charge of Brexit  SACKED Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho is the new Brexit secretary, it has been confirmed.
May hoping to get better Brexit deal in January sales  THERESA May believes she can get a more economical Brexit deal in the January sales, it has emerged.
Real-life Scrooge expects team to do some work this week  A REAL-LIFE version of Scrooge has cruelly demanded his merry staff do some work this week.
Part-time smokers unveil plan to steal lighters  PART-time smokers have announced plans to light the filter end and then pocket a lighter at some point this week.
As a true Slade fan, I am deeply angered by your refusal to explore their back catalogue  I AM a devoted Slade fan or ‘Sladean’, and you might think I’d love this time of year. Not so.
Office Christmas lunch not horribly awkward  A GROUP of workmates has had a Christmas lunch that was not unbearably awkward.
Europe reassures Britain it has been a laughing stock for decades  IN a move to allay fears that Brexit had damaged Britain's reputation, Europe confirmed the country has been a pathetic laughing stock for ages.
Buy my kids slime and I cut you, mum warns everyone  A MOTHER of three has warned everyone that if they even think about buying her children slime for Christmas she will cut them with a blade.
Baby spends entire day hatching evil plan to f**k up bedtime  A BABY will spend eight hours deciding how he will make bedtime a complete and utter shit show.
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