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Latest news and headlines from : The Daily Mash - URL : www.newsoneplace.com/?source=76
Only thing keeping man going is not working for Deliveroo  A MAN whose life is shit regularly cheers himself up with the pathetic tactic of remembering that he does not work for Deliveroo.
Today is equivalent of Friday, please work accordingly, say bosses  BUSINESSES have warned employees that due to tomorrow’s bank holiday today is the equivalent of Friday and they should work accordingly.
Women more likely to reach orgasm after buying Tupperware  A NEW study has revealed that women are more likely to reach a sexual climax after buying shitloads of plastic tubs.
Teenager better than his town and everyone who lives there  A 17-YEAR-OLD is absolutely convinced of his inherent natural superiority to the town he grew up in and all its residents.
Colleague makes Notre Dame fire all about him  A BRITISH man who visited the Notre Dame cathedral in 2003 is telling everyone how badly the fire has affected him.
Child taken into work with Daddy discovers that he does f**k all  AN eight-year-old who went into the office with Daddy for the morning has discovered that he does nothing but chat about football.
America to gift France hideous new plastic church  AMERICA has decided to revive its old friendship with France by giving it a garish plastic megachurch for the middle of its capital city.
Are you in a sham marriage or is your marriage a sham?  SHAM marriages are usually done to secure citizenship in the UK and are illegal, while marriages that are just a bit of a sham are a lot more commonplace and somehow not...
Celebratory drinking sessions completely ruin celebrations  CELEBRATING good news by drinking alcohol always ends up blotting out the good news with the effects of alcohol, researchers have confirmed.
Was this the bus journey from hell or just a bus journey?  WERE you on the bus journey from the depths of Hades itself, or just a harrowing, soul-crushing everyday British bus journey?
Hunchback forced to move in with Phantom of the Opera  THE Hunchback of Notre Dame has been forced to move himself and his stuff in with the Phantom of the Opera for a few weeks.
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