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How to move on from ordering the wrong thing in a restaurant
IT’S happened. In the pressure of the moment in a restaurant you panicked and made the wrong choice. Here’s how to accept it and move on.
The Daily Mash
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No return to the 70s, says man who bought house for £20,000 in 1973
A MAN has warned against any return to the decade from which he benefited enormously.
The Daily Mash
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Win a date with Priti Patel
WOULD you like to win a date with the UK’s popular home secretary Priti Patel? Enter our unique competition for charity by answering these Priti-related questions.
The Daily Mash
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Six deeply odd things that were normal if you were an 80s kid
MIDDLE-AGED? Do you sometimes notice that life is less weird than when you were growing up? What happened to these things?
The Daily Mash
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In the face of a global health emergency we have a twat in charge, Britain realises
THE UK is slowly waking up to the fact that, in the face of an oncoming world catastrophe, it has chosen to put a d*ckhead in charge.
The Daily Mash
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Passive-aggressive email phrases to make your colleagues hate you
EVER included the phrase ‘as per my previous email’ to suggest the person you’re writing to is as thick as mince?
The Daily Mash
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Chlorinated chicken insists it just likes being clean
CHLORINATED chicken has protested at its demonising by the UK media, insisting there is no shame in being clean.
The Daily Mash
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The right and wrong times to get your cock out
TORY MP James Grundy has apologised for exposing his penis in the Ram’s Head pub in Lowton in 2007, but when is the right time to whip out the chinos cobra?
The Daily Mash
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How to survive a pandemic according to TV and films
THE coronavirus pandemic is imminent, but anyone who’s seen any movie or TV show about surviving deadly infections will be fine.
The Daily Mash
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Hollywood all cleaned up after the only man who did this stuff convicted
HOLLYWOOD has pronounced itself free of all abuses of power after the only man who ever abused his power was jailed.
The Daily Mash
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Five post-Brexit pancake toppings
BLUE passports are back, we’re a sovereign nation again and it’s time to celebrate a patriotic post-Brexit pancake day with British toppings.
The Daily Mash
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Woman improves morning routine by adding line of coke
A WOMAN has made her mornings more streamlined and productive by snorting a fat line off the mirror.
The Daily Mash
