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I want a quiet birthday. Someone tell that to the cat | Tim Dowling

  On another day I would wake my wife to make her come down and deal with this magpie situation, but not today When I wake, sunlight is streaming through the bedroom window. I look at my phone to check the time: just after 6am. Then I see the date, and I have a sudden and overwhelming need to escape the room before my wife can wake up and wish me a happy birthday. I dress silently, in the clothes from the previous day. For a moment, my wife seems to stir, but then settles. I step over the sleeping dog, squeeze past the door without opening it further (it drags noisily against the carpet) and creep down the stairs. Continue reading... .. Full story on theguardian.com 

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